What Do Real Men Really Expect From a Woman?

 If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die. -Maya Angelou

The Ankh: Man, Woman, & Child

I and most of the real brothers I talk with desire a woman who is "all that and a bag of chips," outer and inner beauty, in fact she is a "warrior queen," a lioness who understands her role and duty to her warrior king (lion). Her duty is not solely based on her laying down opening her legs up for cheap and simple pleasure more importantly her role is to be dutiful and faithful in every aspect of his life.

Her duty is not merely just to stand by his side but more significantly her duty is to surround or circle him because she completes him; or as my Five Percent brothers would say "she is our Wisdom and Earth."  Yes, the man is the head but in order to be the head he cannot rule with his lower head--he must allow his woman not only to be his "help mate" but to be his "help meet," and "help meat."  Help meet denoting that she helps him to be the man God created him to be, by helping him to meet the expectations that The Creator has charged him with.  A help meat in the context of being the substance, the nurturer, and apple of his eye that gives him the energy and power to fight the good fight. 

Real Love

Visualize the movie the Lion King for a moment think about Musfasa and Sarabi, Simba and Nala, the lion and lioness relationship concept is exemplary in this movie.  In order to have these kinds of relationships a man must be a man and woman must be a woman in every sense of the word.  It has to be from the head to the toes, it cannot be in opposition of but it must be in harmony of.  She is the the wind beneath his wings helping him to soar to new heights, she is his backbone and rib bone--she is thus all around him as suggested above.  As he is all around her, he never has to question her love and loyalty and she never has to question his authority and leadership.  Her love and loyalty are never in question because she keeps to her duty to him as his woman through and by, how she handles him.  She is firm and no-nonsense but always a loving lady.

His authority and leadership are never in question because he puts God first thus putting her first in how he handles her because he ultimately understands two essential points.  Firstly, he understands that God took the best part of him to create his help mate who is actually his better or best half.  Secondly, he knows that his authority and leadership of her is not over her in the sense of domination or control because it has been given to him by the God whom does not error or make mistakes because He is the All-Knowing!  He thus knows and accepts the responsibility of maintaining such a treasure.  Furthermore the man knows he is never to abuse that he has been so graciously given to be a steward over--he always has her protected; and he always guards against the wiles of this world from infiltrating his camp.

The Road from Jerusalem to Jericho

Many people believe what I have described here is not real, true, or simply does not exist especially in the current context of human life.  However I beg to differ, what I have described does exist but we have lost our way, sort of like the man in biblical scripture who was traveling down from the City or (Abode) of Peace & Justice originally known as (Jerusalem/Yrušalaym) sometimes described as (The Holy Sanctuary), to the City of Confusion originally known as (Jericho/Yareah) sometimes noted as (The Low City), (City of Spiritual Wickedness), (City of Palms), or (The Moon City); who was robbed of all his clothes and hit in his head then left for dead. (*See Luke 10:25-37)

The same thing to sort of speak has been done to destroy the fabric of male and female relationships across the board but in particular Black male and female relationships have taken the worst hit.  Do you think it is by accident or by design that 70% of Black women are single, 72% of Black children are raised in single households more than likely headed by women; "while in 2005 Black men represent 14% of the population of young men in the U.S., when they currently represent over 40% of the prison population."  Moreover these alarming numbers are rapidly increasing everyday.  *(See Young African American Men in the US-Fact Sheet and Mass Incarceration: The New Jim Crow by Michele Alexander)

In today's so-called liberated and enlightened society the roles of men and women have flipped the script; trust I have no problem with women being empowered, liberated, and independent but a woman must never take on the role of a man.  "I'm straight up old school and will never embrace the idea or believe in women taking on men's roles and chasing after them.....the biblical definition of the roles of husband and wife has been rejected as outdated and old in today's liberated and enlightened society....I'm  thinking part of the reason women struggle so hard today is because of their desire for headship..."  (*See The Man Who Finds A Wife...)

Part of the problem is not so much the empowerment, liberation, and independence of women but the over sensationalize of women's roles in mass media--it has be portrayed as if women do not need men and men do not need women.  Thus as result, an increase on the focus of rebuttal, of traditional or cultural roles and the intended public arousal of gay and lesbian relationships.  *Disclaimer: (I have nothing against one's sexual preference because it is one's choice but we all can agree there has been a media storm imposed on society because we live in a so-called liberated, enlightened, and [PC] politically correct context).   

A Warrior King & Queen

A Real Treasure

Besides many of us as Black men, including my self have fallen for "the okie doke," hence hit in the head as I noted earlier to the point where we have gotten it all twisted and confused.  We have allowed our women to be marched around, vehemently disrespectfully viewed as, and rancorously inappropriately called "BWA's" (Bitches With Attitudes), "HWA's" (Ho's With Attitudes), "VV's" (Video Vixen's) or "VH's" (Video Ho's) all over the planet and yet we act as if it is OK!  No wonder Black Women despise Black Men today and date more outside of their race and culture!  We have sold out like Scar did to the hyenas in The Lion King!  Many of us (My Brothers) have engaged in and allowed one of the most inexcusable forms of BETRAYAL take place on our watch!  By participating in and not standing up for but allowing such repulsive behavior(s) to permeate the air--has caused a deep chasm within African American community among male and female relations.  We have totally dropped "the rod and the staff," of our anointed and appointed headship and, or leadership over our woman and community.  The question is now--are we going to continue to be weak-kneed pussycats like Scar who have no damn "koˈxones (balls)," please pardon my vulgarity, or, are we going to be the lion's (men) that God anointed and appointed us to be and put an end to this cultural tragedy?  Only time will tell but to be very frank we do not have a whole lot of time left to figure it out--which is why we must get busy not now but Right Now and put an end this madness!

 .Click the links they speak for them self... nuff said!!! *Revised & Updated 11/2011

 A Black Woman's Smile

Kindred The Family Soul-Woman First

 

Rachelle Ferrell f/ Will Downing- Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This 

  Marc Evans ~ Put Something Down On It

Scriptural & Literary Support:

Listen, children, to a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight; for I give you good precepts: do not forsake my teaching.  When I was a son with my father, tender, and my mother’s favorite, he taught me, and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live.  Get wisdom; get insight: do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.  Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever else you get, get insight. Prize her highly, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her.  She will place on your head a fair garland; she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.”  -Proverbs 4:1-9 NRSV *Also See NKJV, ESV, The Message

Hear, my child, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many.  I have taught you the way of wisdom; I have led you in the paths of uprightness.  When you walk, your step will not be hampered; and if you run, you will not stumble.  Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life. Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of evildoers.  Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on.  For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong; they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble.  For they eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence.  But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day.  The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what they stumble over.  My child, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings.  Do not let them escape from your sight; keep them within your heart.  For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.  Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.  Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.  Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.  Keep straight the path of your feet, and all your ways will be sure.  Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.-Proverbs 4:10-27 NRSV *Also See NKJV, ESV, The Message 

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. -Proverbs 18:22 (ESV)

How long will you waver, O faithless daughter?  For the LORD has created a new thing on the earth a woman encircles a man." -Jeremiah 31:22 (ESV)

O people! be careful of (your duty to) your Lord, Who created you from a single being and created its mate of the same (kind) and spread from these two, many men and women; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, by Whom you demand one of another (your rights), and (to) the ties of relationship; surely Allah ever watches over you. -Surah 4:1

O you who believe! it is not lawful for you that you should take women as heritage against (their) will, and do not straighten them in order that you may take part of what you have given them, unless they are guilty of manifest indecency, and treat them kindly; then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it. -Surah 4:19

Everybody need a partner to stand right by their side. Not only down for the good times. But also down through the bad times. -Will Smith

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

I think what motivates people is not great hate, but great love for other people. -Huey P. Newton

I've got a good man. He takes care of me. I don't have to be scared of anything because I know he will kick every ass... disrespect him and you've got a problem. -Whitney Houston

Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. -Toni Morrison, Beloved


A Nation can rise no higher than it's woman -M. Hon. Elijah Muhammad


Where there are no decent women there are no decent men... -M. Hon. Elijah Muhammad


“No matter what your race, color or ethnicity, you have never looked at yourself as a part of The Divine. That will change today,” -Min. Farrakhan


There will never be a righteous kingdom until and unless there is a righteous woman. Where there are no decent women, there are no decent men for the woman—the Honorable Elijah Muhammad teaches—the Black woman in particular is the mother of civilization,” -Min. Farrakhan


***This piece contains various references that were compiled from a variety of sources.  Thus I cannot take full credit for the entire piece... I have to give credence to the words and thoughts of The Most Hon. Elijah Muhammad, The Hon. Minister Louis Farrakhan, Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu, and many others, I have borrowed from.

 

FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT

My woman is down with me through thick and thin, Down with me till the end, Fighting for our love and our family we shall conquer any obstruction that is put in our path of togetherness, We shall fight for the right to live free with each other, The right to build a future the right to carve out our union in harmony with jumping the broom, Brings us blessings from above with GOD on our side we cant be stopped, We cant be misled into the darkness but loving our voyage to our mystic journey, We are together for infinity, We are proud and strong and pushing forward with pride we are one, Together in love fighting the good fight!

Tavis (c) 11/3/2011

For Who You Are

Made For Each Other Furthermore... For Who You Are means that I can accept that you think outside of the box, that you do not keep up with current events or trends, that you are a very specific and detail oriented person most of the time , that you need and require ME time, that you are a deeply spiritual, sensual, and sexual woman, also that you are a committed, focused, determined, and ever evolving type of Queen!  And I respect and love, For Who You Are.  I know that you know none of us are perfect beings but I get excited about how you value and cherish going beyond the norm to seek higher realms of life.  I love the fact that you are constantly seeking to Know Thy Self, Know Thy God, and Know Thy UN-I-VERSE!  I know and realize that you are truly the one who can deal with my "hetic-ness!"  Not sayin' another woman couldn't but truly deal is another story because it goes beyond the surface and delves into, or speaks to the core of my being.  You speak to my Soul Man!  I get "So High" off of the fact that you actively and subliminally push me to reach new heights.  You expect, deserve, and desire nothing but the Best; the Best of your God, the Best of Yourself, the Best of your Life, and last but not least, the Best of Me!  You are a true "Warrior Lioness Queen," you know, accept and invite the responsibility of dealing with a complex Black Man because you understand the "Game," as Erykah Badu said.  So, I just want to say Thank You and most importantly I want to Thank, The Creator, For Who You Are!  -Peace  -Lamon aka The Brotha (c) 11/23/2011